Graduation Remarks - 2023

 
Good morning, Class of 2023---this is it.

The moment you have worked so diligently for---
The moment you have patiently waited for---
The moment that will be a stepping stone for you in the years to come---
This moment has finally arrived…
Congratulations!
As we gather to celebrate you today, I recognize the simple fact that I am the only one standing between you, the ringing of the Victory Bell,  and your newfound status as a Graduate of Palmer Trinity School. 
I also recognize that today, you’re going to leave us...Your Palmer Trinity Family. 

Today, you head off into the “great unknown”...Or, at least, the “next step” on your educational journey...Summer travels, study abroad, college…Who knows? 

For now, I’ve got you for just a few more minutes, and with that in mind, I’ll take full advantage of having this podium and microphone…

Recently I ran across an article featuring an update on a significant study, with a focus of this central question:
 
What is Happiness?

As you may or may not have known, Robert Waldinger, a Harvard psychiatrist, directed the longest-range study of human contentment ever conducted: The Harvard Study of Adult Development.

Begun 85 years ago, in 1938, the study tracked more than 700 people throughout their entire lives, including their offspring. The hope was to discover and actually document the central factor that determines life satisfaction. And, maybe or maybe NOT so surprisingly, the researchers concluded that the central factor for “happiness”, is NOT money, nor power, nor accumulation of material goods or things…Rather, it is, simply:
 
Warm connections with other people.

The surprising takeaway from the Harvard Study is the extent to which your interactions with other human beings affect not just your outlook on life, but how long you stay healthy, and how long your brain will stay sharp. 

Those “human connections” have genuine benefits…It should also be noted that you can have strong connections with friends, family members, and work colleagues—many different kinds of relationships. Even casual connections have real benefits. Human beings have evolved to be social animals.

With that particular definition of “happiness” in mind, I'd like to offer you a few—hopefully helpful—observations and pieces of advice. Take as you like, and, as the noted English Romantic writer, Samuel Taylor Coleridge claims,
 
Advice is like snow—the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind…

I’m hoping that some of the following thoughts will “sink in”, and provide a bit of guidance for you…So, here goes!
 
#1.
It’s all about people.

Today, you’re probably especially aware of this concept…Take a moment, look around you. We are gathered, nearly 1000 of us, to celebrate you…You’ve just handed out lovely Thank You notes in one of our truly meaningful traditions here, and you’ve paused to recognize the power of those who have supported you along the way…Along this Palmer Trinity Journey…

As you well know, it takes real effort to “invest in others”...To be someone who can be counted upon, to put in the time, to be a patient listener,  to be a critical advisor, to be a good friend…

Be also open to new relationships, and nurture those ever-important human bonds…Whom you choose to be with and spend time with is critical, and is a reflection of you—your values, your attitude, your approach to life…Choose to develop relationships with people who genuinely care about you…People who are honest with you; who hold you accountable; who love you unconditionally…And remember, to:
 
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.
 
As the late and successful American military leader, Secretary of State
General Colin Powell reminds us: 
 
The bottom line in all of it is that, in life, it’s all about people…the people who pass through your life, the people who have been kind and good to you, the people who have been inspirations to you, and the people who perhaps you didn’t get along with. They all come together and make you who you are and what you are.
 
#2.
Be true to yourself (only then can you be true to others).
 
A bad rendition of you is better than a good rendition of someone else.
 
I agree with Willie Dixon. 

Only you can be you. And you are a wonderful, complex, and ever-evolving human being. Someone who, as of today, is being recognized for the successful completion of a major step in your educational life…You are a Palmer Trinity graduate. You should feel proud. Today is a big day! Each of you has taken your “own road” to be here, and yet, as you well know, this is the first of what will be many steps on your journey. 

Celebrate your success today—savor it—but be ready to continue on your path of self-enlightenment…

And, if you are to be a good friend, and if it is all about people, then you must be true to yourself, for only then can you be true to others…Recognize your strengths, work to address your weaknesses, and be open to change…Remember, too, as the accomplished physicist, Richard Fenyman reminds us, 
 
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself–and you are the easiest person to fool.

#3.
Don’t be afraid to fail!

In your own quest to reach your desired level of success, you will fail….You won’t always succeed.

How you respond to that failure is critical, and will ultimately pay dividends for you…In fact, I would argue, that’s where the opportunity for real accomplishment lies. For it is in those valleys---those downard moments in which we are truly tested.

Those times in which an easy answer is NOT an option and a straightforward route is NOT possible...Moments “in the crucible”... are the times in which we learn, grow, and evolve. 

Each of you has experienced those moments in your time here…Think about the challenges you faced, and some of those defeats you may have overcome—the losses you have “rebounded from”; the pain experienced in failure; the tough lesson learned from something that didn’t go as you planned or hoped for…Whatever it may be, you are here, at this moment…Ready to graduate, and move on…And, as we are reminded so eloquently and simply by noted American poet and writer, Alice Abrams, 
 
In life as in dance, grace glides on blistered feet.
 
Today you “glide” across this stage, ready for whatever comes your way!
 
#4.
Be positive.

You choose your attitude every day, plain and simple. Your outlook can be either positive or negative…Choose to be Positive.

Take that positive attitude of yours, and remind yourself that, as you well know by now, life isn’t always fair. Things won’t always go your way. 

I am a big believer that attitude makes all the difference in everything that we do, and each of you, in your actions, reflects so very well upon all of us. As a wise man once stated, 
 
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

So, go ahead and be “annoying”! Take that positive attitude of yours and don’t let things get you down! 

As many of you know, my dear father died this year, having almost made it to 90. Without dwelling too much on Dad, one of my most enduring memories of Ken Roberts when I was growing up, about your age, includes the countless yellow Post-It Notes he would leave for me in places where he knew I’d spot them, and at just the right time—the critical moment in which I needed a “lift”....After a tough loss, a poor grade, a broken relationship—whatever seemed to be causing pain or extra stress at the time…These notes could be found on the refrigerator, my bathroom mirror, the door to my room–anywhere and everywhere, throughout my house…One time he even left one on the steering wheel of my old 1976 Caprice Classic! Dad’s message, however, was always the same—
 
Keep the Old P.A.!
 
P.A. stands for Positive Attitude, which Dad preached (and practiced, mind you) to no end… No matter what happens, take Dad’s advice:
Keep the Old P.A.! 
 
#5.
Be grateful.

As I mentioned earlier, we are gathered here today to celebrate YOU…You have been given much…You are supported and loved, and you have an entire community behind you….Don’t forget to let the people who have helped you know just how much you appreciate their support. Remember their sacrifices and all they have done for you, on YOUR journey…Be Grateful.

You’ve done that so visibly today, but keep at it! Don’t forget that each day offers new opportunities to be grateful…You can never say “thank you” enough. As noted theologian and thinker, Meister Eckhard reminds us, 
 
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘Thank you’, that would suffice.
 
With that being said, I certainly am grateful to each of you. I say 
 
Thank you wholeheartedly,

For, 

You have established yourselves, as leaders in the Classroom. You have set the bar high, for all to follow.

You have used your time well here, contributing beyond that Classroom.

Your Positive Spirit and your Genuine Commitment to the Ideals of our School are of the highest order…Our entire Community owes you a great debt of thanks for leading us so capably. 

I say “thank you” for setting the tone and being such effective leaders and influences for our School. You have been good mentors, role models, and Spirit Guides for our younger students.

You have “jumped in” and spoken out respectfully and powerfully, supporting causes to help others and our greater World.

You have helped lead our artistic efforts, sharing your creative talents for all to enjoy, and you have done so enthusiastically and generously, mentoring our younger musicians, thespians, and artists so capably.

You have competed at the highest level, with the most noble ideals, and, most importantly, with true sportsmanship on display.

You have accrued 29,030  hours of volunteer service as a Class–a record, at least in my time— living our Mission so well and so visibly.

You have Led with Love, and the ripple effect of such beautiful and thoughtful acts cannot be measured.

In short, you have served faithfully as a Palmer Trinity Student, and all that such a privilege and responsibility require.

Finally, in good Episcopal tradition, I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite Celtic Blessings:  

May your joys be as bright as the morning, and your sorrows merely be shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.

May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to keep you happy.

And so, Class of 2023, as you take this next step, I hope you’ll remember these few pieces of advice...There is no “road map” here…

Remember, as you, go forth today, with diplomas in hand:

Know that you are loved.

Know that you are supported.

Know that we are always cheering for you.

Know that you will be missed.

Know that we are waiting, and hoping you will return in due time to share your stories with us…

And, 

Always remember,
 
You may leave Palmer Trinity, but Palmer Trinity will never leave you.
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